saa-33:

I’m at a stage in my life where I just want to be very quiet

i don’t want to be a stranger to you
i want you to find me strange
and beautiful
even in the mornings
when we
part
this is what i carry
out of sleepless nights

you exist in a space i have tried 
to erase and
forgive

and the last breath you stole 
woke pieces,
left behind

lightheartedsuggestion:

There will be a next time. Another love, another chance, another opportunity. Keep looking forward.

Coffee and cigarettes,
coffee and vyvanse and cigarettes,
it’s all I’ve known and
when my fingers reach
for the pack on my nightstand
no
longer there
I feel a little stranger in my skin.

I felt heavy when I woke up next to you for the first time.
I wrote this thought with 
a cigarette resting between
my lips and I thought 
of how you had traced
your fingers
Over me, first the left ribs that bear
etchings from five years past,
then the right,
abhinc,
a reminder of an ex-lover
who left me to sink.

When your fingers explored the parts of me that
hadn’t been loved in months
I thought how lovely it might be to taste and think
in colors again –
half a cigarette reminds me
how fucking painful it is 
to be alone 

i’d give you the last spoonful of my ben & jerry’s to prove that it’s real.